**“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.” Andre Gide**

Greetings 4am Fitness Crew.

Allegories are legitimate purveyors of principles that often are not subjected to the factualism that should attend history and science – or some modicum of rationality that could elucidate belief systems. Even though most folkloric narratives are inspired by a dynamic mix of societal attitudes, belief systems and cultural mores – often in a long-ago epoch – they possess a remarkable ability to transcend borders, barriers and time. This might be (historically) deliberate, as it evades the oppressive scrutiny of dogma, while empowering the individual and encouraging community. One such endearing fable is “Conquering fear” – an Ethiopian folktale.

This is my abbreviated adaptation.

Once upon a very long time ago in an obscure Ethiopian village lived a very shy and fearful kid. He was such a scaredy pants that his family renamed him Miobe, The Frightened One. Even his grandparents mocked him for being scared of his own shadow. And grandparents simply don’t go there.

After some introspection, he admitted to (himself), that while his mom, dad, grandparents and practically the whole village were insensitive, they were also correct – he was indeed the biggest scaredy pants in the history of the village.

And since back in those days there was no therapist, Oprah, Dr. Phil, or Wellness apps - there was only one way to prove and improve himself.

At midnight when everyone was asleep, he packed a small backpack, invited his faithful hound to join him – who refused – took a few deep breaths – whispered “I will conquer fear” and headed out into the darkness to confront the monster that has terrorized him throughout his short life. Fear!

Miobe travels the world confronting and conquering his fears – fear of his own shadow, fear of being alone, fear of the night, fear of thunderstorms, of howling wolves … His travels finally bring him to a village paralyzed with fear. Fear of a (mythical) Mountain Monster that will descend at any moment and destroy the village.

This fear has crippled the village economically, socially, educationally – no progress. No solutions.

Ignoring the dire warnings of the terrified villagers, Miobe sets out with spear and shield to confront this monster. To his surprise, all he finds at the top of the mountain is a stunning view and a very lonely old man – who only makes noises and sets off smoke bombs to get attention.

As the “monster” and Miobe descend the mountain triumphantly the relieved villagers rush to embrace the gentle old man as a friend, and Miobe as a hero. Peace and prosperity return to the village. And they lived happily ever after.

Enjoyed that folktale? It is time for us to set out on our Miobe inspired journey and confront our fears.

Our Fears …

**“Fear is that remorse of yesterday, and that anxiety for tomorrow that conspires to paralyze today.” Louis M. Brown**

Fear is a normal emotional warning system that alerts us to danger and orders a response. It is necessary for our physical and emotional well-being. Fight or flight syndrome ensured the survival of our ancestors in the most unforgiving of physical environments. For us, our environment of fear is more often emotional than physical. We therefore need to reengineer our instinctual responses away from the negativity bias-response towards positivity bias (positive response). Mindfully. Intentionally.

We need to move away from manufactured fear – fear that is often manipulative, destructive, and exploitative – to productive fear – fear that serves as motivation to take on a challenge or to seek a solution. We want to overcome fear that keeps us anxious, resentful, and polarized, and embrace bridge–building and empathetic fear – a fear that respects boundaries, embraces community, promotes Socratic inquiry and protects democracy. This is not only beneficial for our personal well-being, but also for our community's cohesion and resilience.

We should have a healthy appreciation for the unhealthy and oppressive effects of fear – personally and societally. Fear instructs us irrationally; fear directs us to dark and dismal places emotionally. Fear is used to politically manipulate policies, laws, and institutional structures that are oppressive and divisive.

A lot of our emotional imbalance is planted, nurtured and harvested in fear. Manufactured fear, divisive fear, diminishing fear, real fear.

Miobe left at midnight to conquer his fears. It is always “midnight” when you are living in fear. You just moved into your dream house, but it is “midnight.” You have a lover who adores you, but it is “midnight.” After all these years you have deservingly attained that promotion, but it is still “midnight.” It is time to face our fears. It is “midnight.”

Goodbye Fear!

**“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” Rosa Parks**

1. Acknowledge Your Fear. The first step to overcoming your fear is to acknowledge it and name it. This is always painful, but necessary. You have to identify the “enemy” if you are going to take it down. What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? How does it affect your life? Write down your answers in a journal. Keep adding to that journal. This will help you gain clarity and awareness about your fear. Miobe heard a lot about his fear from others – even credible others – however only when he acknowledged it, and identified it, was he able to take that first step towards conquering it.

2. Rewire Your Thinking to the Positive. We are so often obedient to our instinctual negativity bias – always instructed by fear - we end up living in that reality. It becomes our comfort zone. But it is NOT comfortable. Settling emotionally is never comfortable. It simply does not serve you. Start the process of rewiring your brain’s circuitry to react, act, and function in a state of positivity. Negativity instructs fear and this irrationality very often distorts how we see ourselves, others, or situations. This is not an attempt to escape reality, but rather to embrace an elevating, “me” empowering, solution focus reality. For example, you might think that you are not good enough, that others will judge you harshly, or that something bad will happen if you try something new. These thoughts can fuel your fear and make it worse. To overcome your fear, you need to challenge these negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and positive ones. For example, you can ask yourself: Is this thought true? Is there any evidence to support it? What is the worst that can happen? How likely is it to happen? What can I do to cope if it happens? How would I advise a friend who has this thought?

3. Power in Stillness. Miobe made the decision to confront fear in a space of quietude. At 4am Fitness Crew we encourage you to start the day early in your Sanctuary of Serenity – that space of emotional tranquility, surety and acceptance. This is the space where you will lay down your emotional foundation for the day. Meditation, prayer, yoga, affirmations, poetry, deep breathing. Spirituality is you finding your path to purpose and peace. A peace that will feed positivity and a calming rationality when fear attempts to overwhelm you.

Don’t forget to have your fear antidotes handy: deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, yoga, a simple ten-minute walk, or listening to soothing music.

4. Face Your Fear Gradually. Miobe did not just magically appear at the foot of the “Monster” Mountain with supernatural bravery – it was a journey. A journey that started with him purposefully and repeatedly confronting what he feared. This time proven technique will help you desensitize yourself to your fear and reduce its intensity and impact. For example, if you are afraid of public speaking, you can start by practicing in front of a mirror, then in front of a small group of friends or family, then in front of a larger audience, and so on. Each time you face your fear, you will learn that you can manage it and that nothing terrible happens.

5. Embrace Your Circle of Empathic Support

**“Empathy is the most radical of human emotions.” Gloria Steinem**

While Miobe had to face his fear alone, most likely you will not. Make the choice to surround yourself with a trusted and empathic circle of support. You can talk to a trusted friend, family member, mentor, coach, therapist, or join a support group online or offline. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can make you feel less isolated and more confident.

6. Celebrate Your Achievements. Miobe celebrated at dawn the success of conquering the fear of his first night alone. But he had other days and other nights and other fears to conquer. Overcoming your fear is a journey, not a destination. Mindfully celebrate your every step, your “small” victories. Reward yourself with something that makes you happy, such as a treat, a hobby, a compliment, or a gratitude note. Remember that journal? Keep track of your achievements and review them regularly to remind yourself of how far you have come.

7. Turn Your Mistakes into Lessons. This is where your rewired brain – towards positivity - will not stay down and wallow in the dirt but will get up and ask yourself the difficult and solution driven questions; What went wrong? What can I do differently next time? What did I learn from this experience?

The “conquering fear” journey is not the absence of falls, but rather the absence of not staying down. Bruised, bloodied, tears in your eyes … But you will rise. Fear will not keep you down. You will face setbacks and failures when you try to overcome your fear. This is normal and part of the learning process. Instead of giving up or beating yourself up, you should learn from your mistakes and use them as opportunities to improve and grow. You can ask yourself: What went wrong? What can I do differently next time? What did I learn from this experience?

8. Embrace a Growth Mindset. A growth mindset will instruct a flexible and open you. Fear conserves, shuts out, puts up barriers, the brave new you will embrace challenges, build bridges, seek feedback, will not be thin-skinned and personalize every criticism. A growth mindset can help you overcome your fear by making you more resilient and optimistic. You are not ignoring the magnitude of the challenge, but rather embracing the opportunity of the challenge. The opportunity to learn, to grow, the opportunity to defeat fear.

9. Visualize and Vocalize your Success. Before venturing out on that faithful midnight, Miobe spent weeks visualizing and vocalizing himself not as Miobe, The Frightened One, but rather as Miobe, The Conqueror Of Fear. By the time he arrived at the foot of the mountain physically, he was already at the mountain’s summit mentally and spiritually. That is the power of visualization and vocalization.

Imagining yourself achieving your desired outcome in vivid detail. Visualization can help you overcome your fear by boosting your motivation, confidence, and performance. You can practice visualization by closing your eyes and picturing yourself facing your fear successfully and feeling proud and happy. You can also use affirmations, such as "I can do this", "I am confident", or "I am fearless", to reinforce your positive self-image.

10. Action It. Miobe could have dreamt it, visualized it, vocalized it, meticulously planned it, written a self-help book on it, but only when he packed his bag, left his comfort zone and headed out at midnight, could he begin the final and most consequential step in confronting his fear.

Step out and confront fear. Fear will not give you a path, you must make your path. Get out of your illusionary bubble, waiting for fear to be kind and understanding. Not going to happen. There is no negotiating with fear - it must be removed intentionally, mindfully, courageously and unapologetically.

Concluding Thoughts …

**“To him who is in fear everything rustles.” ~ Sophocles**

We must commit daily to living a life beyond fear. A life beyond restlessness. A life deserving of vitality and happiness. I know it is tiring, it seems that in your personal and societal space, that the weaponization of fear is trained on you - and you alone. I have been there. I have been tempted to return to that space – but it does not serve me, and I am guessing you either.

There is an option, an elevated path, an empowering path. A restful path. A sometimes mountainous and rugged path fueled by positivity and peaceful assurance. A path that will most likely commence at “midnight,” in stillness, in a resilience claimed forward. This “midnight” will not devour me. I will celebrate at dawn.

On this transformative journey you will meet monsters, defeat monsters and tame monsters – most of them within. A path to emotional homeostasis, vitality and well-being. Every step a celebration of the metamorphosis that assuredly powers you to the mountain top of self-affirming, self-deserving. The fullness of life!

Enjoy the view; You Conqueror of Fear!

#4amfitnesscrew

Trusted Sources:

Conquering Fear - Psychology Today

How to retrain your brain for Success - University of St. Augustine for Health Science